After reading Mari's post where she mentioned small talk, I got the inspiration for this post.
Why is it expected of me to say hello to every single person individually when I arrive to a group of people? Hell, I don't even like to say hello unless they're expecting me. If you only act a certain way towards people because you're expected to...does that mean you care more for them? Like, if I arrive and don't say hello to everybody, do I like them less? And if DO say hello to everybody cause it's the social convention...do I like them more?
If I work with a person that's indifferent to me, am I supposed to talk to him/her just because I see him/her everyday? What if we don't share any interest at all? What if they start talking about the great time they had the previous night dancing with his/her friends? I don't like dancing, I don't like to talk about dancing, I don't know his/her friends, I don't consider what he did fun...am I supposed to keep the conversation going? Am I rude if I just say "cool"? And that's being a hypocrite, cause I don't even think it's cool. Other way around, am I supposed to tell him/her (let's say they're a Graphic Design major) about how I ordered a programming book and started to learn a lot of new stuff?
Say I get into a weird situation where I have to give a ride to a friend's friend to his/her house. It takes 20 minutes to get there. Do I have to make small talk? Ok, it's uncomfortable to just sit in silence with a person you don't know, but I am PERFECTLY okay sitting in silence knowing I don't have to think about what to talk. I prefer listening to myself think than to listen to some dude talk about how they're in love with their partner (just an example).
If I go to the store and buy some chips (crisps for our UK friends :P, jk), and I bump into an acquaintance in the way back...do I have to offer some chips if I have already opened them? Am I wrong to think that if they really want some, they'll ask for some? But even worse, if I'm the acquaintance the other person bumps into, and they DO offer some chips, do I HAVE to say yes? What if I really don't want any?
If somebody walks in, and they're carrying 85 bags of groceries, do I have to offer assistance? Am I wrong to assume they don't need assistance cause they're not asking for it?
Ok, that's a lot of questions, and not surprisingly my answer to all these questions is: NO. I know I'm probably wrong in some of them, or maybe all, I don't really know, I don't really know other people's point of view of my actions...or lack of. But that's just my point of view towards these situations, I don't like socializing with people I barely know, or don't know at all. I don't like the idea of having a conversation that I know won't lead to anything interesting, or that I will ultimately think it's a total waste of thinking time. If I don't act like myself in these situations it's only cause I don't want to assume the other person will find it interesting or maybe they share my point of view.
Being that as it may, I will answer if you ask me something, I will probably ask you some basic stuff so I at least know if there's hope for a real conversation, I will give you chips if you ask me for some, I will give assistance if you ask for it. I just don't like to assume what people thinks or feels.
It can also mean that I'm really shy and very lazy.
On a kind of related topic: Don't ever send me to the store to bring you something "sweet" or something "refreshing" or whatever I get...if I go, I want to know EXACTLY what you want, and what to get if they don't have what you told me, cause I will not improvise and will not assume you like something just cause I do. Same goes for movies, there are seldom any movies that I just go out and recommend to everybody I know, I just don't know your tastes in movies, so I don't know if you will like it or won't...I will tell you that I liked it or that I didn't, but that's it.
Of course this applies to people I don't really know, or that I lost touch with ages ago. That's just who I am, and I don't like to talk about it to people that don't think this way, cause they will not understand. But if I do know you very well, then go ahead and socialize with me :D
2011-05-19
2011-04-28
The end of an era
Ok, so as you already know I moved in back with my parents.
There are a number of reasons why I chose to do it, but there's one in particular that made it clear: money.
Ok I'm going to be more specific...I wasn't really having financial problems, I had enough money to pay for rent, services, food and whatever debt I may have, but that's it...back in august, when I moved out, I had money for all those things plus some money for myself. I knew it was going to be tough living without my parents' help, but I could still afford the little stuff, like going to the movies every week (I looove going to the movies), going out to eat occasionally, buy a game, etc.
But then it happened, my car died...majorly, so I had to get a loan to pay for the repair, and it started taking whatever money I had for myself away, and I mean all of it. But that was in January, why wait three months to move back? If it is true I didn't really have any money, I really didn't mind most of the time, I could get by fine, and I was really comfortable living where I was, it was a nice centric location, a couple of blocks from school, about 2-3 miles from work, it was pretty awesome.
And then it hit me: my Visa expires in June, after 10 years, it's finally going to expire, and I want to renew it, but yes, it costs money. I need my mexican passport first, which I don't have and also costs money. About 300 dollars for both.
But it wasn't only about the 300 dollars, but the fact that if something happened which required money, I wasn't going to be able to pay it right away. I want to take a couple of classes in summer, how would I have paid for those and my tuition for next semester. How will I save enough money for the epic trip we're planning?
It may seem like I don't have what it takes to make it on my own, but I don't see it that way. I could've lasted ages not having any money to pay for stuff, and at some point in my life I have lived like that even while living with my parents, my debt is going to end, sooner or later (if I don't accrue any more, by September I will have paid my Laptop in full). But right now I HAVE a choice to move back with my parents which will make things easier. There may be a time when I don't have that option (and I'm counting on it), where I may not live in the same city or even country as my parents, but I hope that past experiences will have taught me well enough to avoid big mistakes when the time comes.
My near future plans all require loads and loads of money, and as difficult as it is for me, I have to save up money for those things (I had started to save thanks to Angie, but it had to stop cause no money was really left for me to save :S), and I'm not going to win the lottery or anything. I know that moving out to another country as is my plan (Spain!!!) requires lots of money (and lots of other stuff, I'm aware), and I'm not that young, so I don't want to postpone it one second more than needed, like I would have had to do if I hadn't moved in back with my parents. I want to go on that epic trip we're planning, I will need some money for that I presume? It would also help to get a job that pays more, but if I can do something on my own, I intend to do it.
I am going to miss living with my friends, I had a hell of a time with them, well, Tenampa more than anyone else, we did lots of stuff we wouldn't have done otherwise, and I don't regret anything. But I'm an overly optimistic person, so I will only see the good out of all this :D
There are a number of reasons why I chose to do it, but there's one in particular that made it clear: money.
Ok I'm going to be more specific...I wasn't really having financial problems, I had enough money to pay for rent, services, food and whatever debt I may have, but that's it...back in august, when I moved out, I had money for all those things plus some money for myself. I knew it was going to be tough living without my parents' help, but I could still afford the little stuff, like going to the movies every week (I looove going to the movies), going out to eat occasionally, buy a game, etc.
But then it happened, my car died...majorly, so I had to get a loan to pay for the repair, and it started taking whatever money I had for myself away, and I mean all of it. But that was in January, why wait three months to move back? If it is true I didn't really have any money, I really didn't mind most of the time, I could get by fine, and I was really comfortable living where I was, it was a nice centric location, a couple of blocks from school, about 2-3 miles from work, it was pretty awesome.
And then it hit me: my Visa expires in June, after 10 years, it's finally going to expire, and I want to renew it, but yes, it costs money. I need my mexican passport first, which I don't have and also costs money. About 300 dollars for both.
But it wasn't only about the 300 dollars, but the fact that if something happened which required money, I wasn't going to be able to pay it right away. I want to take a couple of classes in summer, how would I have paid for those and my tuition for next semester. How will I save enough money for the epic trip we're planning?
It may seem like I don't have what it takes to make it on my own, but I don't see it that way. I could've lasted ages not having any money to pay for stuff, and at some point in my life I have lived like that even while living with my parents, my debt is going to end, sooner or later (if I don't accrue any more, by September I will have paid my Laptop in full). But right now I HAVE a choice to move back with my parents which will make things easier. There may be a time when I don't have that option (and I'm counting on it), where I may not live in the same city or even country as my parents, but I hope that past experiences will have taught me well enough to avoid big mistakes when the time comes.
My near future plans all require loads and loads of money, and as difficult as it is for me, I have to save up money for those things (I had started to save thanks to Angie, but it had to stop cause no money was really left for me to save :S), and I'm not going to win the lottery or anything. I know that moving out to another country as is my plan (Spain!!!) requires lots of money (and lots of other stuff, I'm aware), and I'm not that young, so I don't want to postpone it one second more than needed, like I would have had to do if I hadn't moved in back with my parents. I want to go on that epic trip we're planning, I will need some money for that I presume? It would also help to get a job that pays more, but if I can do something on my own, I intend to do it.
I am going to miss living with my friends, I had a hell of a time with them, well, Tenampa more than anyone else, we did lots of stuff we wouldn't have done otherwise, and I don't regret anything. But I'm an overly optimistic person, so I will only see the good out of all this :D
2011-04-14
What version of Chrome is this?
If anybody knows me, they know I'm obsessed with new versions of software, but more specifically, browsers (except Safari), I've even gone out of the norm and tested a couple of new browsers based on WebKit (Safari's and Chrome's rendering engine), and I download every new minor or major version of Chrome, Firefox, Opera and IE, I loooove doing that... but one thing that bothers me a lot about Chrome is the fact that it auto updates and doesn't even tell you that it did, it just does...
Ok, I'm making a big deal out of nothing, most people don't like upgrading software either cause they don't see the need, or just forget about it.
Not me though, I need to see changes, I need to keep track of what's been done to improve it, either visually or in functionality.
This is specifically true for major browser versions. Opera 11 came out? I was all over it, testing out all the new things. IE9? Hell, I even started using Windows more just to use it. Firefox 4, hells yeah, I'm there!!! Chrome... um... 9? 10? 11? (Clicking wrench menu... about Google Chrome, ah...), yes, 10! When I downloaded it it was version 6!!! What the hell happened to 7, 8 and 9!!!
Ok, I'm lying a little, I did know when it bumped versions each time, but not cause the browser told me, but because I usually read blogs that post about those kind of things, with new changes and stuff. I have to depend on blogs to tell me when a new version of Chrome is out, I mean, I COULD just go to the About Google Chrome menu every day and see if it changed, but come on, even if I remembered to do it, out of principle I wouldn't do it.
And I know most of the changes done in those versions, but sometimes I just stumble upon them unwillingly, like in what versions did the preferences change to a tab? In what version did the Web Store appear? In what version did Instant become an option of the omnibar? In what version did it include Flash sandboxed? In what version did it include a PDF reader?
Still... I use it as my main browser, cause in the end, that stuff doesn't matter, I feel comfortable using it, and suits all my needs, so yeah :) (I'm posting this on Opera 11.10 cause it just got released a couple of days ago, so I have to use it, haha)
Ok, I'm making a big deal out of nothing, most people don't like upgrading software either cause they don't see the need, or just forget about it.
Not me though, I need to see changes, I need to keep track of what's been done to improve it, either visually or in functionality.
This is specifically true for major browser versions. Opera 11 came out? I was all over it, testing out all the new things. IE9? Hell, I even started using Windows more just to use it. Firefox 4, hells yeah, I'm there!!! Chrome... um... 9? 10? 11? (Clicking wrench menu... about Google Chrome, ah...), yes, 10! When I downloaded it it was version 6!!! What the hell happened to 7, 8 and 9!!!
 |
| I use Chromium in Linux, Chrome in Windows :) |
Ok, I'm lying a little, I did know when it bumped versions each time, but not cause the browser told me, but because I usually read blogs that post about those kind of things, with new changes and stuff. I have to depend on blogs to tell me when a new version of Chrome is out, I mean, I COULD just go to the About Google Chrome menu every day and see if it changed, but come on, even if I remembered to do it, out of principle I wouldn't do it.
And I know most of the changes done in those versions, but sometimes I just stumble upon them unwillingly, like in what versions did the preferences change to a tab? In what version did the Web Store appear? In what version did Instant become an option of the omnibar? In what version did it include Flash sandboxed? In what version did it include a PDF reader?
Still... I use it as my main browser, cause in the end, that stuff doesn't matter, I feel comfortable using it, and suits all my needs, so yeah :) (I'm posting this on Opera 11.10 cause it just got released a couple of days ago, so I have to use it, haha)
2011-01-10
The year I had no expectations of... 2011
I always had in mind that 2010 was going to be an awesome year... and it was!!! For the most part 'cause I moved out of my parents', I started my most ambitious personal project to date (alongside my brother, though it will be a better year the one where I finish it, haha), and I kind of "reconnected" with the family... I never really stopped talking to them or anything, but last year I kind of got closer to lots of cousins, that's good :).
Now, why didn't I have expectations of 2011??? Well, I failed to see the point. It IS a new year... but that's it, it's not like with the coming of a new year, something amazing happens, it's all in the mind, so I really didn't pay much attention to it, life just goes on...
Now, it's January 10th... and I gotta say, it has been the best start of year I have had... no kidding. But my way of thinking stays the same... it's not cause it's a new year and a fresh start, it's not because I made a resolution of being positive, or anything like that... it's more like, it's been an awesome 10 days, hahaha. Had these days been in July or August, I would've only said: "I've been having a good time lately", but it coincided with the start of the year, so it literally is the best year start :D.
There's a couple of things that have made this a cool 10 days:
-I started hanging out more with Mari, and thus, I started talking with her friend (who is now also my friend) Angie, and when I hang out with them, I have pretty good time :).
-I got my driver's license back after... 2 and a half years!!! Fuck!!! I didn't even realize it was so long until I went to get it, and saw that the ticket was made in July 2008, hahaha.
-Shade (my car) broke down... ok, that's pretty lame, but as a consequence, I remembered what an awesome family I have... My aunt Martha, My uncle Gustavo and Mari (also Angie), all helped me through that mini chaos, driving me to places, waiting by the car with me, and pretty much being ultra supportive... My mom started calling people and arranged so that I don't have a hard time going from place to place while I don't have a car... My dad gave me assistance on what to do with the car while it was still in El Paso, and he's pretty much going to make all the necessary things so that my car gets fixed... My uncle Chino went pick me up at the bridge with no previous notice... Fani is going to lend me her car so I can move while mine gets fixed... Again my uncle Gustavo is going to help me get a tow dolly so I can get my car back to Juárez... so yeah, I feel pretty good even though Shade is useless right now.
So, I hope I keep having a hell of a time. I won't say something like: "I hope the rest of the year is this awesome", cause that's not the way I want to see it, I just want to keep having a good time, be it a day, a week, 6 months, 5 years, whatever, the end of the year is not the limit...
Now, why didn't I have expectations of 2011??? Well, I failed to see the point. It IS a new year... but that's it, it's not like with the coming of a new year, something amazing happens, it's all in the mind, so I really didn't pay much attention to it, life just goes on...
Now, it's January 10th... and I gotta say, it has been the best start of year I have had... no kidding. But my way of thinking stays the same... it's not cause it's a new year and a fresh start, it's not because I made a resolution of being positive, or anything like that... it's more like, it's been an awesome 10 days, hahaha. Had these days been in July or August, I would've only said: "I've been having a good time lately", but it coincided with the start of the year, so it literally is the best year start :D.
There's a couple of things that have made this a cool 10 days:
-I started hanging out more with Mari, and thus, I started talking with her friend (who is now also my friend) Angie, and when I hang out with them, I have pretty good time :).
-I got my driver's license back after... 2 and a half years!!! Fuck!!! I didn't even realize it was so long until I went to get it, and saw that the ticket was made in July 2008, hahaha.
-Shade (my car) broke down... ok, that's pretty lame, but as a consequence, I remembered what an awesome family I have... My aunt Martha, My uncle Gustavo and Mari (also Angie), all helped me through that mini chaos, driving me to places, waiting by the car with me, and pretty much being ultra supportive... My mom started calling people and arranged so that I don't have a hard time going from place to place while I don't have a car... My dad gave me assistance on what to do with the car while it was still in El Paso, and he's pretty much going to make all the necessary things so that my car gets fixed... My uncle Chino went pick me up at the bridge with no previous notice... Fani is going to lend me her car so I can move while mine gets fixed... Again my uncle Gustavo is going to help me get a tow dolly so I can get my car back to Juárez... so yeah, I feel pretty good even though Shade is useless right now.
So, I hope I keep having a hell of a time. I won't say something like: "I hope the rest of the year is this awesome", cause that's not the way I want to see it, I just want to keep having a good time, be it a day, a week, 6 months, 5 years, whatever, the end of the year is not the limit...
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