After reading Mari's post where she mentioned small talk, I got the inspiration for this post.
Why is it expected of me to say hello to every single person individually when I arrive to a group of people? Hell, I don't even like to say hello unless they're expecting me. If you only act a certain way towards people because you're expected to...does that mean you care more for them? Like, if I arrive and don't say hello to everybody, do I like them less? And if DO say hello to everybody cause it's the social convention...do I like them more?
If I work with a person that's indifferent to me, am I supposed to talk to him/her just because I see him/her everyday? What if we don't share any interest at all? What if they start talking about the great time they had the previous night dancing with his/her friends? I don't like dancing, I don't like to talk about dancing, I don't know his/her friends, I don't consider what he did fun...am I supposed to keep the conversation going? Am I rude if I just say "cool"? And that's being a hypocrite, cause I don't even think it's cool. Other way around, am I supposed to tell him/her (let's say they're a Graphic Design major) about how I ordered a programming book and started to learn a lot of new stuff?
Say I get into a weird situation where I have to give a ride to a friend's friend to his/her house. It takes 20 minutes to get there. Do I have to make small talk? Ok, it's uncomfortable to just sit in silence with a person you don't know, but I am PERFECTLY okay sitting in silence knowing I don't have to think about what to talk. I prefer listening to myself think than to listen to some dude talk about how they're in love with their partner (just an example).
If I go to the store and buy some chips (crisps for our UK friends :P, jk), and I bump into an acquaintance in the way back...do I have to offer some chips if I have already opened them? Am I wrong to think that if they really want some, they'll ask for some? But even worse, if I'm the acquaintance the other person bumps into, and they DO offer some chips, do I HAVE to say yes? What if I really don't want any?
If somebody walks in, and they're carrying 85 bags of groceries, do I have to offer assistance? Am I wrong to assume they don't need assistance cause they're not asking for it?
Ok, that's a lot of questions, and not surprisingly my answer to all these questions is: NO. I know I'm probably wrong in some of them, or maybe all, I don't really know, I don't really know other people's point of view of my actions...or lack of. But that's just my point of view towards these situations, I don't like socializing with people I barely know, or don't know at all. I don't like the idea of having a conversation that I know won't lead to anything interesting, or that I will ultimately think it's a total waste of thinking time. If I don't act like myself in these situations it's only cause I don't want to assume the other person will find it interesting or maybe they share my point of view.
Being that as it may, I will answer if you ask me something, I will probably ask you some basic stuff so I at least know if there's hope for a real conversation, I will give you chips if you ask me for some, I will give assistance if you ask for it. I just don't like to assume what people thinks or feels.
It can also mean that I'm really shy and very lazy.
On a kind of related topic: Don't ever send me to the store to bring you something "sweet" or something "refreshing" or whatever I get...if I go, I want to know EXACTLY what you want, and what to get if they don't have what you told me, cause I will not improvise and will not assume you like something just cause I do. Same goes for movies, there are seldom any movies that I just go out and recommend to everybody I know, I just don't know your tastes in movies, so I don't know if you will like it or won't...I will tell you that I liked it or that I didn't, but that's it.
Of course this applies to people I don't really know, or that I lost touch with ages ago. That's just who I am, and I don't like to talk about it to people that don't think this way, cause they will not understand. But if I do know you very well, then go ahead and socialize with me :D
